By Stephen Howell
Christina Catherine Howell, 24/12/1948 – 27/10/2024
Thank you everyone for coming to the requiem mass, I’m Stephen, Christina’s eldest child, and the family has asked me to share some words about your friend, our mother, and grandmother.
Before that, I’d like to thank the carers who called to look after mum 4 times a day. It is a hard job that few of us have the temperament, the resilience, or the empathy to do well. You should be paid a lot more, and society should recognise the value you contribute. Mum would always tell us about the carers and your children and we’re grateful that some of you became her friends.
I’d also like to thank Connors Funeral Directors, who have looked after Mum very well. Although Mum suggested it a few times, we weren’t able to just stick her in a cardboard box and take her straight to the crematorium, but they were able to get the beautiful willow wicker casket which she wanted. Mum didn’t want a wake or a Church service, or a notice on rip.ie, she was a very quiet person.
I’d like to thank Fr Paddy for the mass, Mum wasn’t able to attend mass in person in the last year or so of her life, so watching the streaming service from Knock Basilica was very special to her. In the last months of her life, she worried that it wasn’t allowed to have a funeral mass in your home, and she didn’t want to go to a church, or bother the priest. She never liked fuss, and wouldn’t complain about anything. She would be delighted that you were able to facilitate her wishes, thank you.
Mum was born on Christmas Eve, 1948. She always said it was the worst day because back then, you were unlikely to get presents for both Christmas and a birthday the day before. She was born to Thomas and Christina (Molly) Pentony. She grew up in Drogheda, and there were 6 children in the family. She was 5th child, the youngest girl of 4 sisters, and she had 2 brothers. Somehow, all 6 children fit in the back of her father’s Morris Minor motorcar.
Mum had a love of horses and worked in livery stables near Drogheda, she taught riding lessons and cared for the horses. When she was 16, her father retired from the Royal Liver Insurance company in Drogheda and moved out to Dunleer, where he bought the farm that his wife had grown up on. She found a job in the local factory, and that started the next chapter in her life.
She met Dad while working in the local factory, where she was building televisions. She said one of the engineers who was always talking to her was Jack. She wasn’t that keen on him as he had a big Dubliner style beard, but he must have shaved or cleaned up somehow, because she agreed to go out with him. He took her to the most romantic date of the time, the Fianna Fail Cumman meeting and dance in Grangebellew, and amazingly she still agreed to keep seeing him after that.
One day he told her he thinking of building a house. She asked what for, and he said for them to live in, as surely, they were going to get married? That is how she learned she was engaged, and this house we are in now was in lieu of an engagement ring. She carried every block of this house, and Dad built it.
She was married to Dad for 53 years, 4 months, and 2 days. On my 5th birthday, I was confused that she and dad had a party and another cake at the same time as my birthday party, and that is when I learned that I had been born on their 5th wedding anniversary. She had John 3 years after me and Monica 3 years after that, and for a long time, we were 5 together, plus several dogs, chickens, ducks, goats, and even pigs at any one particular time.
Growing up, Mum never slapped me though there may have been threats of wooden spoons, I don’t think it was ever deployed against me, though I’m not sure about my naughtier siblings.
Speaking just for myself now, I suspect I was a strange kid for my poor Mum, interested in reading, and chess, and computers, and rather than try to make me do what other ‘typical’ kids did – like play sports or listen to music, activities I was vehemently disinterested in, she let me find my own niche, and I never wanted for books as a kid. She never missed a single Parent Teacher Meeting in my whole school life. She joined the Parents Council in St. Joseph’s CBS Drogheda and was active part of the fundraising activities. When I was mistreated in school by a teacher, she didn’t assume I was in the wrong, she had plenty of experience with bad teachers herself, so she would listen to us and stand up for us when needed. She had a strong sense of justice, and hated bullies.
She was active in the ICA for years, and a member of the Louth Archaeology Society for decades. She enjoyed scrutinizing antique maps of Louth and was fascinated by genealogy.
When we were all at school, Mum started working as a milk recorder, where you had to take samples of milk from cows at each milking time for analysis. This meant getting up at crazy hours to match ‘milking’ time, but gave her new friends and a working life outside the home.
She loved to travel, and was no stranger to cruises, coach tours, and historical tours. She even took me to New York City when I was 2, but I haven’t had a chance to go back there yet. Some of the places she went to include all over US including Las Vegas, Miami, New York, Connecticut and more exotic places like Turkey, Dubrovnik, Barcelona, Paris, Germany, the Bahamas, the UK, and Mexico.
Then our family grew, because all 3 of her kids managed to marry nice people with nice families, extending our little family quite a bit. She would be very happy to see Fran, Marian and Terry, and Catherine and Matt here, and I also suspect that she is having great craic with Liam already.
Now, Mum was always a short person, I think 5 2 was the tallest she ever got to. When my Dad first saw my girlfriend, now my wife Aileen, when he was collecting me from Drogheda one night, Mum asked what was she looked like. My Dad said he couldn’t see that high up, so he wasn’t sure. She got a shock when she saw how tall Aileen was, but not as much of a shock as when she met Sandra. You see, before the days of emails, when my brother wrote from Japan that he had met a nice girl and would bring her home to meet mum, he neglected to mention she wasn’t Japanese, so my Mum got a surprise when he brought home a girl from Dublin.
Her Grandkids were everything to her. She had 8 of them, you heard many of them do a reading today. She loved Jack, Thomas, Sam, Molly, Alexander, Rhys, Elsie, and Brandon very much. She would be very proud of them doing a reading today. She wouldn’t want you to be crying that she’s left us, but smiling with the memories of happier times. She worried about you all, every time we spoke she would ask about how everyone was doing. For someone of her generation, she was remarkably comfortable with and supportive of parenting children with neurodivergence.
In 2019, Mum was diagnosed with cancer. She bet it, but in 2021, it returned. She bet it again. Before her mobility was totally gone, we convinced her to take a trip to Knock, where she wanted to make a pilgrimage but felt that it was too far. Aileen and I drove Mum and Dad there, we stayed in Swinford and it was a lovely trip. She even had the first and only Baileys since she was diagnosed in 2019, and I’m glad she got to go to Knock in-person a final time. I’ll always remember that trip.
Finally, in 2023, cancer came back for a third go, and unfortunately, even with treatment, prognosis is a year. We had a year and 4 months with you Mum, and we appreciate every second of that.
The cancer affected her mobility severely, and eventually her speech. She was able to communicate well up to a few months ago, but from Summer 2023 was paralysed on one side. She was in a hospital bed in this room, and Dad moved his bed in here too. She must have watched and rewatched every murder mystery tv show a few times. With the few exceptions of a particularly sunny day outside or a trip to the hospital, this was her world. Her world shrunk to the window into the garden she loved, and the birds at the feeder, and family visiting.
Her passing was peaceful, she slept the last few days, and the last full sentence she said to me when I asked how she was an indignant “I’m Grand!”. She was surrounded by family, and though we will miss her, we are glad of the time we had, and know that she has no more pain now. Uncle Vinny (Monica’s husband) and Uncle Tommy, her brother, both passed away recently, and I hope she is catching up with them, and her sister Monica too.
Finally, Mum and the whole family would want me to give a special thanks to my sister Monica, who was not only Mum’s baby, but also her friend and in the final years, her full-time carer. They call us the sandwich generation, because at this age, we are full-time caring for our kids, but also for our parents who need full-time care too. Monica did an amazing job and couldn’t have done any more. She was nominated for and won Louth Carer of the Year, and will be in contention for the Ireland Carer of the Year award next week. Whether she wins that or not doesn’t matter, because Mum and the whole family won the lottery of life by having such a sister. You could not have done any more for Mum Monica, indeed, you did far more than most children would be willing to do for their parents. Thank you for being so kind to Mum.
